It's Official: David's a Loser!

Yes, It's official. Those of you who know me well know it already. But somehow posting it on a blog that will never be seen by more than 5 or 6 people makes it official. I'm a loser!

Yes, I've lost 40 pounds since June. This is more than my goal, but fine by me. I recommend Weight Watchers with the following caveat: You have to be willing to give yourself to a system, knowing that you can't lose weight by yourself. The name of the group says it all: watch your weight. Our society just doesn't facilitate this process for you. If I was good at watching my own weight, then I wouldn't have been wearing size 40 pants! Weight Watchers helps you in the process. Weekly meetings with group support. Knowing that I had to step on a scale in a few days helped me make better decisions many, many times. And even paying for it shows commitment too. As long as I was paying for this, I knew I wanted to make it work. So I gave up trying to save myself and made myself vulnerable to getting and receiving help from others. This is why losing weight can be similar in method to religious spiritual formation. Lose yourself, become a loser, and then go celebrate by buying new clothes!

For me, overeating is a way of not trusting the future. When I overeat, I begin thinking about the next meal right after I finish the last meal. This is a way of saying, "I can't make it in life unless I know what I'm going to eat next, where it's coming from, and when I can start eating." Overeating for me is also a way of trying to recreate the past. If I eat too much, my stomach feels a certain way, and this gives me a certain feeling that I used to have, somewhere back in my early life. This is a way of saying, "I'm not happy with where I am, so I'm going to eat so that I will feel the way that I used to feel."

Now, I am learning a new way of approaching food and life. If I eat this, I will get the energy that I need to function. Then, somewhere along the way, I'll get hungry again and then I will eat. When that happens, I'll handle it. I can trust myself to eat good now, because I trust the future.

I will always struggle with this. This is not something that goes away with smaller clothes. But for now, I'm willing to trust the process.

Yippee, I'm a LOSER!

David

I Love Blogs

I have been in bed all day with a stomach virus and fever. This has been absolutely no fun for Laura, since she has been responsible for Sam, Sarah (also sick) and me (whining sick husband). But I have had fun studying a little bit, and also browsing through the wonderful world of blogs. Just the range of stuff on Google's Blogger (which I use) is absolutely amazing. Check it out sometime.

I have to admit that I am deeply saddened and confused by the presidential election results. All the polls indicated that Bush was below 50% in almost every state, and that most people polled said they thought that the country was heading in the wrong direction. But I guess heading in the wrong direction, together with "moral value" could mean different things to different people. I saw a recent blog that showed that Bush received more votes in Florida than there were registered Republicans. Who knows what that means? I suppose that so much information exists that you can make anything out of anything.

So what do you make out of Falluja? Why wait until after the election to start a major offensive? War is always is good for a sitting president, especially if major casualties are kept out of mind, out of sight.

I've lost 35 pounds since June. I'm wearing size 34 pants, which I haven't been able to fit into since high school. Only 2 1/2 more pounds to go to reach my goal. Perhaps this stomach virus will help me along the way...

David

School Starts
Much to our consternation, school has started and we've still got boxes to unpack from our flooding episode this summer. We've used the flood as an "opportunity" to clean out and reorganize our (now dry) apartment. When we moved in over 2 1/2 years ago, it was just the three of us. Sam was only 18 months old and had a lot fewer toys. Now we have the charming and fun-loving Sarah who delights in her own toys as well as those of her 4 year-old big brother. So we needed to rethink and revamp, and this has taken more time than we had hoped.

We can count at least 10 moves that we have made since we were married 13 years ago this month. Moving is inconvenient (to say the least), hard work (to be more accurate), and a big pain (to be more honest). But one thing it does do for you (so cruelly) is force you to clean out and throw away. As a result, we have less stuff that we don't need and generally know where our remaining stuff is. Of course, as stuff goes out one door, more stuff comes in the other. We maintain some type of equilibrium by keeping both doors open and flowing...

My favorite album of late is Modest Mouse, Good News for People for People who Love Bad News. It comes out of the Indie Rock (those who defy the corporate malaise of today's radio) movement that is producing some really good music (the kind of music that used to be played more readily on the air). This album is not for everyone. One song includes the lyrics "I do wish you were dead." But in its finest moments, it is sublime. The most popular song is the inspiring anthem "Float On" which I actually thing has a video that gets played some on cable: "even if things get heavy, we'll all float on all right already..." One song that has really caught my attention is "One Chance," which includes the lyrics, "My friends, my habits, my family, they mean so much to me, I just don't think that it is right: I see so many ships sailing that Just head back out again And go off sinking." When most rock revels in angst, unconnectedness, and despair, he clings on to and relishes in what he knows and what keeps him anchored. For those depairing that rock has died, you might want to check this out.

My Weight Watchers update, 22 pounds lighter and counting. I've lost over 10% of my starting weight, and my doctor is happy with my blood levels again (which means no meds!). She did me a big favor, by the way. I weigh now what I did 12 years ago. Do I still look 24? :)

Grace and Peace,
David

May and June went by too quickly!

I took a theology and preaching class in May, and on June 4th, we celebrated Sam's 4th Birthday. I preached at a local church on June 11th, and then Laura and I got busy organizing our apartment--doing some summer clean-out.

It's a good thing we did. The last week of June, I was in Birmingham, AL for the annual Cooperative Baptist Fellowship Assembly. I returned on Saturday night. On Monday morning, I went to a screening interview, setting up a unit of CPE for the fall with Vitas Hospice. As I entered the building for the interview at 10:45am, I noticed a heavy feeling in the air, like the sky was about to open up and let go a torrential downpour. Well, it did and within the hour, Laura was paging me "911." I quickly found out from Sandra that our apartment was flooding. I returned home around 12:15 and waded through strong currents to get to the front door of our apartment building. I went straight to our apartment and began picking up toys, pillows, books and unplugging electrical equipment. There was about 2 or 3 inches of water in our home. At one point, I looked outside and saw about 3 feet of water against our building. The water was lapping at the windows, wanting to come in.

After one of the wettest Junes on record (and certainly the most wet for us), we are HOT and DRY in July here in Fort Worth. We are in temporary apartments on TCU campus until our apartment gets new sheetrock, kitchen cabinets and carpeting.

Sarah will turn 1 year old on Saturday. She is enjoying walking and clapping for herself with each new accomplishment. Sam is the proud big brother and a great playmate. He is in music class for the summer at TCU. Both of them will be in weekday school at a nearby church.

So much for now.... Listening to Rolling Stones "Exile on Mainstreet" on the MP3 player. This is by far the best rock n roll album that I've ever heard. And I've lost over 12 pounds on Weight Watchers, training myself on different eating behaviors. Hopefully, I can post new pictures soon.

Peace out,

It's Spring Break in Fort Worth! Pretty much a regular week except I don't have class. Sam doesn't have class either, so we'll be home more together. We'll be going out to Forney later this week. Hopefully, we can make it to Dallas Arboretum, but I'm not sure. This is always my favorite time of the year to go out there.

The biggest news around the house is that Sarah is learning to crawl. As of this weekend, she can make it about two movements forward. Then she hikes up one of her knees and decides to sit down. It's fun to watch. But Sam is all worked up because she is coming after his trains, and he says he can't share them. This should be fun!

Laura and I are reading and discussing The Two Income Trap, which shows how the cost of living has increased over the last generation, so that families with two incomes (formerly handled by one) have less money for groceries than in the past.

I'm having fun buying Pepsis and winning free iTunes downloads. The promo says that 1 out of 3 wins, but I'm winning about 5 out of 6. I'm burning cds so that Laura and I can listen to them in the car, or on my mp3 player that Santa brought.

This is my first blog ever.

David